ROOTS OF CREATIVITY

a return to where it all began.

‘‘It’s not the same, Moneeza! It’s changed, it’s not safe anymore, you can’t go to all those places you once did on your own with your camera in hand, wandering through bazaars. You can’t eat out without getting sick, you can’t use public transport. Be prepared to be disappointed!’’

These were just some of the warnings I got from well meaning friends and family before I embarked on a journey to Pakistan after 20 years.

The thing is, these are the same words I used to hear from well meaning folk even when I was there two decades ago, I never listened then and I certainly wasn’t going to be put off taking off with my camera, exploring, gathering inspiration and reconnecting with a place I once called home.

It’s safe to say Pakistan is a hard country and not the most popular travel destination, unless you’re a mountaineer scaling the Himalayas or someone who enjoys venturing beyond the headlines of popular holiday spots.

Thanks to rampant political unrest and corruption in governing bodies and armed forces, years of on and off martial law, religious propaganda, the Afghan refugee crisis and a failing economy, the population has been in survival mode since its partition from British India and its creation in 1947 as an independent state.

The ordinary people of Pakistan have since gone from one cycle of trauma to the next without catching a breath, the people have lost faith in their leaders, they just want to get on with their lives, but for the ordinary citizen living below the poverty line it’s not always possible to live with the welfare of others or the progress of the country in mind when you’re just surviving day to day—yet, with all that Pakistanis are up against, it is the spirit of the people that shines through for me, the decorative arts, historical architecture, the diverse landscape, hospitality, poetry, music and food, of course.

There’s no doubt Pakistan has many issues, but show me a country that doesn’t.

I could tell you all about what’s wrong with Pakistan, but there are plenty people out there doing a grand job of that already — So, I choose to focus on the good and beauty, always. It’s how I function in my own day to day life no matter where I am in the world.

Choosing to see and find the good, beautiful and the enchanting over the bad and the ugly is what makes me feel well, alive, inspired and keeps my faith in humanity ticking; this doesn’t mean I have my head stuck in the sand.

Pakistan is so much more than what western media shows us, the only way to find the gems hidden in this country is to go there with an open mind and zero expectations other than being prepared to be both enchanted and bewildered in the same breath!

It’s a vast country with four provinces, each with an entirely different culture, food, music dress and language; the fact that only around 7% of the population actually speaks Urdu [the national language] is a giveaway as to how unique each region and its people are. I grew up speaking English as my mother tongue and Pashto as my second language, Urdu was a language I only learnt to speak when I was in high school and that too not very well.

THE WALLED CITY OF LAHORE.

I began my holiday in the historical city of Lahore in the province of Punjab. This was actually the first time I’ve visited Lahore since I was a child, I have no memories of it other than stopping for a lunch break on our long road trip to my father’s village in Attock in the north of the country.

The main reason for travelling to Lahore was to attend my brother’s wedding, but in between all the merriment I did manage to spend an afternoon walking through the historical walled part of the city built by the Mughals. I visited Badshahi Masjid [King’s mosque] commissioned by Emperor Aurangzeb, the mesmerisingly beautiful Unesco world heritage site Sheesh Mahal [palace of mirrors] built by Emperor Shah Jahan for his beloved wife Mumtaz Mahal as a pleasure and entertainment complex, the design was based on a dream the Empress had of floating through space amongst the stars. When Mumtaz Mahal died, Shah Jahan went on to commission the Taj Mahal to be built as her tomb as a testament of their love.

Walls with a story to tell…

‘‘A lot of the inspiration behind my art and journal collections comes from the decorative arts of the Indian Subcontinent, especially Mughal architecture, frescoes and miniature paintings. My senses were overwhelmed by the sheer beauty and the fading grandeur of what I saw within the walled city of Lahore, Pakistan.

Walls of the Sheesh Mahal decorated with carved marble honeycomb screens and Parchin kari [Pietra Dura] an inlay technique using cut semi precious stones such as lapis, agate, jade and precious metals to create floral and tiled patterns.

Standing where Empress Mumtaz Mahal once stood in the 17th century, perfectly placed under one of the crowns carved into the marble screened windows. The Empress was never without her crown it seems.

TULIP PIETRA DURA COLUMN DETAIL. SHEESH MAHAL - LAHORE, pAKISTAN.

Let’s take a walk beyond the fort

through the historic streets of old Lahore.

Other than finding inspiration on the streets of Lahore for future journal collections, my brother’s wedding was an inspiration…

From the farmhouse the wedding took place at, the display of beautiful floral decorations and hand embroidered clothes to the music, dancing evenings away watching the sun go down to late nights stargazing from the veranda scented by night Raat Ki Rani [queen of the night] another flower of my childhood that I hope to paint for the Storyteller collection someday.

Days of colour & music.

South Asian fashion is very inspiring to me, from the hand embroidered details in gold work, delicate shadow work, aari, zari and applique on sumptuous raw silk, jamavar, banarsi and chiffon, I find it all so romantic and very elegant, this is the look and feel I want to channel into the next series of the Heritage Collection of journals.

INSPIRED BY TRADITION & HERITAGE.

I also got to spend many afternoons walking around the beautiful gardens of my sister-in-law’s family farmhouse, finding inspiration in every bloom and fruit tree. It was here that I saw banana blossom for the first time in my life, what a peculiar and spectacular flower, but captivated me most was a Bodhi tree with a bougainvillea clambering up its trunk. I am sure I manifested it in my daydreams of future Storyteller journals to paint! I’ll share about the farm and day I stumbled upon this magnificent tree in another blog post as it deserves a page of its own.

VIEWS FROM THE VERANDA

Where I spent some quiet time journaling while sat on a charpai [a hessian rope bed] deciding on which flower to paint for the 2023 addition to the Storyteller collection.

After my brother’s wedding, my family and I went on a road trip into the mountains to the province my paternal ancestors are from, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa. Driving through the winding valleys of the North, I was reminiscing of the time my family would escape the heat of Karachi city to visit my paternal grandparents’ home in Attock where I spent many carefree days playing in the fields, making paper and fabric dolls and eating freshly baked tandoori chapatis mushed up with gur [jaggery] and ghee.

I spent a few days with my loved ones in a picturesque village called Thandiani where my sister-in-law’s family run a beautiful B&B called Magpie Lodge. I left feeling rested, well fed and with a deep desire to learn more about my Pashtun heritage. After our rest in the mountains we headed down to Islamabad, the capital city of Pakistan. We were supposed to just drive on straight to Lahore, but due to some political unrest traffic on the highways was diverted through villages, a 2 hour journey ended up taking 6 hours! I experienced some of the frustrations Pakistanis have to deal with on the regular, it was exhausting, but ever the optimist, I used the detour to capture more photos to document in a new Keepsake Book I’m in the process filling with memories of my month long break.

THANDIANI

AND SOMEWHERE BETWEEN ABBOTTABAD AND ISLAMABAD.

INSPIRATION FOR NEW JOURNALS WAS EVERYWHERE

and came in many shapes, textures, colours and forms.

PAKOL - A wool hat worn by Pashtuns in the northern regions of Pakistan.

Room with a view at Magpie Lodge. Thandiani, Northern Pakistan.

KARACHI

THE CITY OF LIGHTS [& CHAOS] IN THE SOUTH,

WHERE MY CREATIVITY TOOK ROOT.

After 3 weeks in Lahore, I only had 6 days left to spend in Karachi, the city where I lived and worked for a handicraft shop in the 90’s and where my creativity took root. It was in this city that I developed a love for photography and where I taught myself to bind simple books to document my photographs.

Karachi is the place that sparked my love of handmade during the years I worked as a product designer with skilled artisans such as handloom weavers, ironmongers, glassblowers, woodworkers, block printers, potters and fresco painters.

Karachi is also the place that shaped me and my creativity. I wanted to explore the city as I once did, but I needed more time; more time to explore the bazaars on my own with my camera in hand, eat delicious street food, find vintage textiles to add to my collection, and spend lazy afternoons on one of the beautiful beaches that line the city.

I also needed more time to work in collaboration with a friend on some products I hope to introduce to my shop in the future; but time was something I didn’t have a lot of, but thank goodness for online communication, I’m able to work remotely with my childhood friend on something I’m bursting to tell you more about, it’s all very exciting!

I chose to spend what little time I had reconnecting with old friends I hadn’t seen in two decades. My friends joked that my 6 day visit to Karachi after 20 years was a tease, like a trailer of Moneeza Returns! I guess I will just have to go back soon.

I will not be leaving it another 20 years before I return.

Karachi and I have unfinished business!

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Those people telling me to be prepared to be disappointed with Karachi were right in some ways, but I chose to look beyond the giant shopping malls with a western flavour of fast fashion and food franchises, the monstrous flyovers built higgledy-piggledy everywhere to deal with the impossible traffic and the imposing high rise buildings cropping up on land that once had some of the most beautiful old colonial era houses.

I chose to focus on and capture the beautiful wherever I saw it, hidden behind imposing concrete structures and gigantic neon billboards.

Habib Fida Ali house as seen from my old bedroom window which is now the room of my Artist friend, Ayessha Quraishi.

View of St. Anthony’s Catholic church and the Cantonment area of Clifton beyond in the sprawling city of Karachi.

Travelling back to one's roots can be a special experience,

but also an emotionally exhausting one.

I have returned home to England with a head full of ideas that I’m unable to process as fast as I would like to, but I know that with time it will all fall into place to help me bring a fresh perspective to my creative practice.

Since returning home I am feeling inspired for sure, but also healed of a longing I’ve felt for the past 20 years. Now, this might sound a bit dramatic, but there’s been a part of me that has suffered from a deep sadness and a longing to go back to Pakistan mostly to see if it felt like home, to see if I feel like I belong somewhere other than England where I was born, but have spent the least amount of years, or could it be Ireland where I had a home for 12 years… I’ve realised after 20 odd years of this tug of longing and belonging I can put it to rest and move on as I can’t say I feel like I belong fully anywhere. I guess home is where the heart is as they say.

The feeling of longing and belonging for a place to call your true home is a dilemma of a lot of diaspora have or children with multiracial ancestry like myself. What I have come to understand is that the longing is for somewhere that only lives in our imagination, the perfect sweet spot, a mix of worlds where we can feel like we can be our messy selves without having to explain where we are from.

Perhaps you understand?

Visiting Pakistan after almost a lifetime away I could see how much it has changed, yet how much had also remained the same, like in a time capsule. What struck me most is how each province [especially the northern region] seems to be slowly losing its unique cultural identity due to globalisation.

It’s heartening to know that there are many non-profit organisations throughout the country that are helping to keep traditional crafts alive, they are patrons of heritage textiles, arts, craft and music.

Being back in Pakistan reminded me where my love of rich colours and textures comes from, it allowed me to tap into a wellspring of ideas that I am excited to explore and bring to life for the Lotus Blu shop. This month long creative and restful break was much needed, it helped me find clarity on how I want to move forward not only with my creative business, but also how I want to experience life immersed in creative exploration.

If there’s a place you’ve been longing to visit and if it’s where your creativity holds roots, I’d highly recommend going there, you never know what’s waiting there for you. There’s a reason it fills your dreams. Don’t leave it 20 odd years like I did; that’s a whole lifetime away!